In a surprising and emotional moment, The Tonight Show host Jimmy Fallon opened up about a dark period in his life, revealing that he once made a personal vow to take his own life if he didn’t achieve his dream of joining Saturday Night Live by the age of 25.
Speaking on The Diary of a CEO podcast, Fallon, 50, admitted that during his early years chasing comedy success, he set an extreme deadline for himself. “I told myself that if I wasn’t on SNL by 25, I’d end it,” he said. When asked by host Steven Bartlett if that rumor was true, Fallon confirmed, “Yeah, I did.”
Although he clarified that he never truly intended to follow through, Fallon explained that he had complete confidence in his goal. “I just knew I was going to be on it. So, I wasn’t really making a real threat—I had that certainty,” he explained.

Fallon further recalled that he even typed out the grim promise on his computer, saying, “I think there’s a file somewhere where I actually wrote, ‘I will kill myself.’ I definitely meant it as a hard deadline. I was serious about my dream.”
Fortunately, Fallon realized that dream just in time. He joined the cast of Saturday Night Live in 1998 at age 24, quickly becoming a standout performer known for his impressions, musical talent, and infectious energy. His time on the show lasted until 2004, paving the way for a highly successful career in television.
This unexpected admission has sparked a wave of reactions online, with fans expressing shock, sympathy, and admiration for Fallon’s honesty. Mental health advocates have praised the comedian for speaking so openly about the intense pressure young performers often face.
While Fallon emphasized that he never truly planned to harm himself, his story highlights the heavy mental and emotional burdens that can come with chasing big dreams. His words are a sobering reminder of how ambition can sometimes push people to dangerous extremes.